By Steve Cullen
Break 4 metaphors into a green enamelware bowl and mix vigorously with the tarnished fork that lies with the spoons in the cutlery drawer. Add symbolism, and the zest of a childhood memory. Drop a knob of irony into a shallow frying pan and add chopped couplets, maxims, and a clove of crushed bathos, (if you don’t have bathos, pathos will do). Pour in the mixed metaphors, and fry over a stuttering gas ring for about 8 minutes. Be careful not to overcook. Once the edges have set, grate a little assonance over the top, and grill until golden. Serve on a crack’d china plate.
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