A Non-Exhaustive List of Thinkpieces I Am Willing To Write For Money
As more and more content goes online, we face an unprecedented need for opinions, perspectives and hashtag hot takes. As such, for the purpose of any editors needing a quick article, I have prepared the following list of topics that I am willing to write about for a digital magazine, newsletter or Millennial based vertical for one Bitcoin.
Why Taking A Photo Of Someone Taking A Selfie Is A Radical Act
Reverse Racist Things I Have Said About My Parents Who Are White
Is Misandry Real? Twitter Screams No And Yes Simultaneously
Dexter Was A Metaphor For Someone On Reddit Too Much
Still No Proof That Joseph Gordon-Levitt Isn’t Really An Alien As Documented on Third Rock From The Sun
Why My Sitcom Called 30 Rock From The Sun Isn’t About What You Think It Is
Okay, You Got Me, It Is
You’re Not Allowed To Like That Thing You Like But I Am, A Slam Poem
What I Learned Having Erotic Dreams About Michael D. Higgins
Why Getting This Ridiculously Large Tattoo On A Whim Is A Radical Act
Playing Cards Against Humanity Is Better Than Having A Personality Since Life Is Chaotic But Mostly Within Set Defined Boundaries
More Like St Patriarchy’s Day, amirite
You Could Probably Fit Your Whole Body In A Cow Given Enough Time
CSI: Cisgender Is A Cool Name For A Tumblr, Right Kids
Spice Girls and Spice Bags, A Tweetstorm in Four Parts
I Have No Opinion On 9/11
GamerGate Made Me Stop Liking Eggs And That’s Okay
Why Celebrity Deaths Are Really About You
Minecraft Sounds Sorta Nazi, Right? Hmm
One Simple Trick That Stops You Sweating Forever (Death)
Legalise Marijuana So We Don’t Have To Make Small Talk With Criminals
Not Enough Porn Stars Wear Wedding Rings
In My Head Canon I Am Otherkin As A Brony
Pro-lifers and Profilers Are Anagrams, Make U Think
Why Writing Headlines Instead of Full Articles Is A Radical Act
Someone Should Google For Me Why We Don’t Serve Children Alcohol
Uh Oh, Spaghetti-Os
I Will Write For Exposure, But Only Of My Body
Why If It’s Problematic, Systematic, Hydromatic, Why it’s Grease Lightning
Satire Is Dead But Punching Down Is Very Much Alive
I Don’t Want To Be In Politics And That’s Why You Should Vote For Me
Why Writing About Radical Acts Is a Radical Act
Just a small selection from the human-skin bound volumes of articles I am willing to write for dosh, spondoolicks or filthy, filthy lucre. Haters don’t @ me, I’ve already disappeared.
