Even in the height of summer, the church hall was freezing. The women all sat on brown plastic chairs, which they had placed as close to the tiny blow heater as possible. Barbara held her car keys in her hand, rubbing her arms vigourously. She knew she should have brought a full jacket rather than her summer gillet. She also knew if this didn’t wrap up soon, Emmerdale would have finished. Had these women nothing better to be doing with their time? She sighed before turning to the group. “Look it, can we all agree that it’s a no to Poverty out”. All four women raised their hands. “Well that’s something I suppose.”
The group had been sitting in the hall now for almost an hour. Bernadette watched the clock on the far wall. It was the same one she had in her own kitchen. John had picked it up recently in a car boot sale. A Dublin’s Great in 88! time piece. A Millennium collector’s item John had called it. A load of old cat she had thought. She looked forward to his next golfing holiday when it would most certainly go missing.
The women met the last Tuesday of every month. Mostly to organise fetes or church family days. But twice a year, they were tasked with devising the title for the church’s latest charity project. A simple enough job when you think about it, but this simple enough job always seemed to drag on and on. Help the elderly, the helping the elderly in the community campaign title, had taken three whole meetings for them all to agree on.
Margaret began chewing the rim of her polystyrene cup. Her tea had long since been drunk. She always felt awkward sitting among the others in the group. Among people in general, really. Her husband had left her three years ago. She still cried most nights. Margaret bit down hard on the cup, a piece of polystyrene coming away and stuck itself to her lip. Gladys looked over at her, failing to hide her smirk. Margaret blushed and frantically attempted to blow the piece of polystyrene off her lip.
“How about Down with Poor” said Gladys. She was the newest member of the parish and was constantly seeking Barbara’s approval. Her children were in the same secondary school as Barbara’s, and while Barbara’s children excelled, Gladys’ did not. To say they were a disappointment to her was an understatement. Barbara sighed again. “No Gladys, I told you when you suggested Down with Drugs that my Brian says Down with has a different meaning now. He says it would mean we think being poor is cool or that we were okay with it. And we are most certainly not okay with poverty, are we girls?” A chorus of nos followed.
“Oh, eh well, eh what, eh about…” said Margaret, in what was the most unsure eureka moment of all time. “What about Poor? No!”
There was a brief silence. The group all looked over at Barbara “It’s good, yeah” she said, not really paying attention, as she reached down to grab her handbag. If she left now, she’d catch the second half of Emmerdale. “Yeah, very to the point” said Gladys, looking to Barbara for approval. “Poor? No! sounds good to me” added Bernadette. “Right, all those in favour of Poor? No!” asked Barbara. All four women raised their hands.
