Ruining Songs By Replacing “Kiss” With “Shift”

Baby, I compare you to a shift from a rose on the gray.
– Shift From A Rose, Seal

But I would never shift anyone
Who doesn’t burn me like the sun
And I remember every shift
Like my first shift
Like my first shift
And I Remember Every Shift, Jens Lekman

Oh, shift me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon’s sparkling
So shift me
– Shift Me, Sixpence None The Richer

Katy Perry -
Katy Perry, possibly thinking about shifting. via

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so shiftable
 I Shifted A Girl, Katy Perry

I saw Mommy shifting Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
– I Saw Mommy Shifting Santa Claus, Jackson 5

And I’ve traced your shadows on the wall
Now I shift them whenever I’m down
– G.I.N.A.S.F.S., Fall Out Boy

Oh no, don’t be shy
You don’t have to go blind
Hold me, thrill me, shift me, kill me
– Hold Me, Thrill Me, Shift Me, Kill Me, U2

Shift him and squeeze him tight
Find out what you want to know
If it’s love, if it really is
It’s there in his shift
– The Shoop Shoop Song, Cher

Give me a shift to build a dream on
And my imagination will thrive upon that shift
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this
A shift to build a dream on
– A Shift To Build A Dream On, Louis Armstrong

Close your eyes and I’ll shift you
Tomorrow I’ll miss you
Remember I’ll always be true
– All My Loving, The Beatles

Eartha Kitt -
Eartha Kitt, refraining from shifting boys for Santa.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed;
Think of all the fellas that I didn’t shift;
– Santa Baby, Eartha Kitt

Don’t talk, just shift
We’re beyond words and sound
Don’t talk, just shift
Let your tongue fool around
Let’s fool around
– Don’t Talk Just Shift, Right Said Fred

Some boys shift me, some boys hug me
I think they’re O.K.
– Material Girl, Madonna

It started with a shift
Never thought it would come to this.
– It Started With A Shift, Hot Chocolate

It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s, ah, impossible
This shift, this shift
This shift, this shift
– This Shift, Faith Hill

The fire’s dying out
All the embers have been spent
Outside on the street
Lovers hide in the shadows
You look at me
I look at you
There’s only one thing
I want you to do

Shift me
I want you to shift me
Like a stranger once again
Shift me like a stranger once again
– Shift Me, Tom Waits

Tom Waits -
Tom “Shift Me” Waits fixes you with his famous Shift Me Eyes.
Top image via