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Silvia Heaney
Office Hours: How to Embrace the Little Things
Monday 5th January
I always thought Mother worked in a bank. It’s not a bank at all. It’s something financial, possibly insurance, but everyone assumes I know because my mother works here, so nobody has actually told me. What they don’t…
Succeeding at Reception in 3 Sexy Steps
Tuesday 30th December 2014
Laura came back to our apartment today. I was surprisingly thankful. There is only so much deep thought and reflection that one can subject themselves to. I’d spent the morning writing a series of poems about…
Becoming a Duvet
Tuesday 23rd December
I have spent the last two days in a duvet. Having the duvet on top of me did not seem to do anything for my hangover, so I unbuttoned the duvet, crawled in and curled up in the foetal position. Laura did not suffer…
12 Pubs of a Poetic Christmas (Part Two)
Pub 7
Laura decided to be the ultimate hipster and include a hidden gem in our 12 pubs. I was all for it. I imagined something small and catered to our generation. But she went so far off the beaten track, that there were very few people…
12 Pubs of a Poetic Christmas (Part One)
Pub One
Every Christmas I attempt this and every Christmas I end up mashed into a taxi after the third pub, screaming obscenities at the driver and crying over whatever man has just broken my sex-drive, by shoving me into the taxi…
Back When Jesus Was Birth Control
Tuesday 2nd December
We move to our town abode next friday. This will be a place of poetic intrigue, heavy drinking and endless self-discovery. I am on many of these journeys already, but I feel it will open Laura up to new worlds.
Laura…
Heartbreak, House-Hunting and Sleeping your Way to the Top
Tuesday 25th November
Banker boy has not accepted my friend request on Facebook.There is a poem surfacing about him, but as of yet, the pain is too fresh. It is a single thump to my face, that blossoms out in a bruise of…
Dress Like A Slut and Dance Like A Poet
Tuesday 11th November 2014
Tomorrow I must speak again. I will not open my mouth except to utter profundities.
Things I will no longer speak about:
The weather - to continue to do so would result in becoming a…
Silencing the context and suddenly hearing the layers of an onion
Tuesday 4th November
Word count: prolific
Lorna fired me from Gala. She cried and said she’s never fired anyone before, because people always quit first. That made me feel shit. The average Gala employee has the…
Embracing the Infinite and Potatoes
Tuesday 28th October
My brother is moving in with Xbox girl. Mother thinks this is a great idea, despite the fact that he has no job and as far as we know, met her two weeks ago. She said “isn't young love grand.” Which made it…