Things You Could Buy with Supermarket Loyalty Stickers During the Celtic Tiger
Remember during the mid ’90s when instead of having a simple loyalty card, Irish supermarkets like Dunnes and Super Valu would give you thousands and thousands of stickers to put in a little book which you could then send off for special prizes? Of course you do. I bet your granny still has a half finished Quinnsworth sticker book on the sideboard in the sitting room.
The prizes were odd and assorted things like terrible flatpack furniture, or cheap holidays to warzones. What you may have forgotten are some of the weirder prizes that were offered. Well, forget no more. Remember instead. It’s better.
- A jumper with a photo of your choice knitted into it (5,000 stickers)
- You get to have a Second First Communion (10,000 stickers)
- 40 shipping crates of cans with no labels (15,000 stickers)
- The front half of a helicopter (25,000 stickers)
- A Mercedes, but four times the size that it should be but the engine is still the same size so it’s really slow (40,000 stickers)
- 1:16 scale model of the Bertie Bowl (50,000 stickers)
- Shergar’s skeleton (65,000 stickers)
- The President has to say a swear word of your choosing during a very important speech (100,000 stickers)
- Learn what “really” went on in Roswell (200,000 stickers)
- The right to assassinate Fungi the dolphin (250,000 stickers)
- The right to sneeze on the Book of Kells and then wipe your nose with a page ripped out from the Book of Kells (400,000 stickers)
- A cat that acts like a dog (500,000 stickers)
- Your parents get back together (750,000 stickers)
- You can see ghosts (800,000 stickers)
- Dinner with Bertie Ahern. He is only mildly interested in your conversation though, and makes you pay the full bill (1 million stickers)
- Whenever anyone laughs in public, you don’t immediately think they’re laughing at you (2 million stickers)
- You can see AND hear ghosts, much better than the one for 800,000 which is kind of a demo of this one really (4 million stickers)
- A time machine, except you can’t use it to get more loyalty stickers, if you try you will die horribly, you will melt, it’s not very nice (8 million stickers)
- Make a new mountain range. Will you raise a series of beautiful verdant peaks to impress the Yanks, or surround your county with a rock wall a thousand miles high? It’s up to you (10 million stickers)
- Make a big rock fall on England (20 million stickers)
- Put air into space so we can all live there (25 million stickers)
- Make a song of your choice play constantly from the Moon (30 million stickers)
- Change the colour of the sun, but not too quickly (40 million stickers)
- Change the colour of the sun quite quickly (50 million stickers)
- Change the colour of the sun very quickly indeed, it’s like a disco ball now, wow look at that (75 million stickers)
- Blow up a star (100 million stickers)
- Win Eurovision (500 million stickers)
- Blow up the universe (1 billion stickers)
- Wrestle God, but not actually, you know he’s just letting you win, it’s all a game to him, he can make all the loyalty stickers he wants (5 billion stickers)
- Your planning permission is put to “the top of the pile” (10 billion stickers)
- A piece of flatpack furniture except it’s not one where the door sticks or is bad (? stickers)
