The Honorary Hunzo | The Impact of Brexit upon the Eurovision Song contest

We are all anticipating the potential outcome of a “hard Brexit” on the Irish economy, and the implications of the activation of Article 50 on Trade, migration, employment, etc. However a pressing concern for Taoiseach Leo Varadkar, is the influence of Brexit on the Eurovision song contest. With October 31st fast approaching, tension is mounting amongst TD’s in both houses of the Oireachtas. Mr Varadkar has addressed this pressing issue in numerous cabinet meetings, and particularly in his most recent interview.

The Eurovision song contest is the greatest Intra –European Competition of all time! It is the cement that glues the “ever closer union”, together. Britain has been a great ally to us in almost every competition to date.. Without their vote…we may not even make it through the Semi-finals.” Taoiseach Leo Varadkar. 

Indeed, many economists agree with Mr Varadkar’s concerns. It is renowned Irish economist David McWilliams, belief that the withdrawal of British support in the concert, will lead Ireland to become “the laughing stock” as a nation, and an outcast within the union. This in turn could lead to a “tit for tat approach”, with large revenge based tariff’s potentially being imposed upon incoming British goods. 

In her most recent address to cabinet, Teresa May assured all conservative members that she had “Absolutely no intention of a post Brexit withdrawal from the Eurovision song contest”, However this tactic has been labelled by opposing labour MP’s as a “Having your cake and eating it approach.” 

If Britain is to exit the Union it can’t then have such honourable benefits bequeathed upon it (Such as the right to participate in the most phenomenal concert of all time).

Historian Diarmuid Ferriter, has recently carried out extensive research in the area, and his most recent publication reviews the simultaneous implications of Brexit upon Ireland’s future performance in the concert, and upon Anglo Irish relations.  His research highlights that Ireland has a proven track record of winning, within the contest. He gives a multitude of examples such as Dana’s 1970 success with “All Kinds of Everything”, and Johnny Logan’s “What’s another year”. (Mr Logan featured in almost every subsequent McDonald’s advertisement subsequent to this, signifying his inherent popularity and enhanced sex appeal). 

We also produced the Dynamic Duo “Jedward”, whom went on to be very successful on an international Level.  Ireland’s future performance in the contest may now be in Jeopardy with the potential withdrawal of British Pity Points. 

Over the past two years Britain has provided little support to National endeavours in the European song contest, leading to disastrous outcomes for Ireland in the contest, which in turn has affected our reputation on a global scale. What has led to Britain’s unprovoked attack on Eurovision Unity? There has recently been a rise of the populist movement towards extremism and perhaps even British supremacy! The shocking withdrawal of British Pity Points for Ireland has left spectators reeling with shock.” 

It is Professor Ferriter’s strong belief that the withdrawal of either British support, or Britain from the contest itself will have a grave impact on Anglo Irish relations. 

Mr Varadkar will have to negotiate his way through an era of major uncertainty in Anglo Irish relations. A lack of British support in the song contest, may lead to further civil unrest in Northern Ireland, and compound the border negotiations”.  Historian and UCD professor Diarmuid Ferriter.

Overall the exact implications of Brexit upon the results of the Eurovision song contest are unknown.  All National hope now rests on Sarah McTernan’s shoulders, with her catchy piece “22” to secure Ireland’s steadfast reputation both within the Eurovision and on an international level.  Will the triggering of Article 50 lead to Britain’s complete withdrawal from the contest? Or will they become our vicious inter competition rivals leading to the rapid deterioration of Anglo Irish relations. Only time will tell.