I was hoping I wouldn’t have to write about women’s rights for this recap. Like, I really tried not to. I lit a candle for the White House WiFi connection to drop and give us all a break from Trump’s tweets. I turned off my Google alerts for, “Hollywood Sex Pests”, and I blocked George Hook tweets from twitter. But, as Melania Trump always says, be careful what you wish for.
You cannot stop a scarlet tsunami.
Sound the alarm – here’s your VERY scarlet recap for this week.
Ireland marches for choice
On September 30th, an estimated 40,000 people marched for choice in Dublin and over 20 solidarity events took place around the world. People marched to demand the government hold a referendum to repeal and not replace the 8th amendment.
The government announced a referendum will take place sometime between May and June next year, just before head feminist, the Pope arrives over to knock a bit of liberalism into us. In 2016, the government arranged a Citizens’ Assembly to discuss repealing the 8th amendment, stating it would be guided on their recommendations.
The Citizens’ Assembly made up of 99 impartial citizens lasted for five months, where people listened to stories from pro-choice and anti-choice speakers, women who have had abortions, representatives from the Catholic Church and medical and legal experts.
After hearing all of this the Citizens’ Assembly recommended that the government liberalise abortion laws and repeal and not replace the 8th amendment stating, “abortion access should be granted without restrictions as to reason.”
The government are now spending grueling hours in the Dail trying to find a way around the recommendations made from a committee they set up, with Fine Gael ministers saying they, “Do not believe the recommendations of the Citizens’ Assembly for the legislation of abortion will pass ‘party, Dáil or country’ and will have to be significantly amended.”
Would the government be saying any of this if the Citizens’ Assembly had voted against repealing? Of course not, then it would be, “the people have spoken, Ireland does not want to repeal.”
Why is it so hard for them to see that Ireland IS ready? Are they that scarlet?
Actually, never mind. As you were.
While we were marching for our rights in Ireland, our sisters across the pond were also dealing with their own scarlet leaders.
United States of Oppression
On Friday, Trump rolled back access to birth control for women, meaning employers no longer need to cover birth control for women in their health insurance plans. It also gives employers rights to refuse contraception coverage on bases of religious or moral beliefs.
Over 55 million women currently have access to contraception coverage through ObamaCare, this new plan will likely affect millions of them. Abortion rates are also at an all-time low because of access to contraception. Trump will now be taking this away from women, as well as trying to ban abortions after 20 weeks.
Only 1.3% of abortions happen after 21 weeks according to the Guttmacher Institute and are almost all because of a risk to the mother’s life or fatal foetal abnormalities, where the baby will not survive outside the womb. So, basically, Trump is trying to push Ireland’s draconian laws on American people.
This is nothing less than sexism. It's the latest display of Republicans’ total disdain for women’s ability to control their own lives. https://t.co/JpsFjBphB6
— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) October 6, 2017
Hello Irony, my old friend
One of the republican parties most vocal “pro-life” advocates was Senator Tim Murphy, who recently voted for Trumps bill to ban abortion after 20 weeks. Senator Murphy resigned this week after it was revealed he asked his mistress to get an abortion.
Meanwhile, in Poland…
Polish women marched again last week against the countries restrictive abortion laws and days later police raided offices of two feminist organisations who organised it including, Women’s Rights Centre and Baba, which also help victims of domestic violence. Police took computers and files from organisations and activists have claimed this was an intimidation and warning tactic from police. Shockingly, police have denied this saying it was merely, “trying to push the apocalypse forward a few years.”
I mean, I think that’s what they said. My Polish isn’t great.
Not one to be outdone by the conservative ways of the government, liberal Hollywood took a trip to dystopia as well last week.
In an brilliantly written exposé, The New York Times, broke the worst kept secret in Hollywood. Harvey Weinstein is a sex pest.
Harvey Weinstein was (at least at one time) Hollywood’s most powerful player. Co-founder of the Weinstein Company and producer of movies such as Shakespeare in love, Good Will Hunting, Pulp Fiction, Lord of The Rings and Philomena, Weinstein was so powerful that Meryl Streep once called him “God” in an acceptance speech.
The rumours about Harvey’s “ways” have been floating around the internet since Mark Zuckerberg was just a nameless nerd at Harvard. But, it wasn’t until The NY Times broke the story this week, detailing his predatory ways, that some of his power has been diminished. Harvey has been dismissed from his company, three of his ALL male board have stepped down, and most of his legal team have resigned.
The article and further stories released this week describes in detail Harvey’s history of sexual harassment, including requesting massages and sex from up and coming actresses, his payouts over the years to cover up his sexual assaults and his power over everyone from the media to politicians. One of the creepiest revelations is a story about Harvey trapping news journalist Lauren Sivan in a hallway and jerking off into a plant, in front of her.
I believe all the women coming forward about Harvey Weinstein's sexual harassment. It takes bravery to do so.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) October 7, 2017
Upon release of The NY Times article Harvey released a statement. The apology is so chilling in its scarlet that I have had it framed and mounted on my scarlet wall of fame, replacing Ed Sheeran’s lyrics to ‘Galway Girl.’
Here it is below. To really get the full morto tingles though, google Harvey Weinstein. Read all you can about him. Then know that he stood up for child rapist, Roman Polanski, so many times that he wrote an open letter AND started a petition to get him freed stating: “Polanski has served his time and must be freed.”
Woody Allen was one of the first people to sign the petition.
Now, get a blanket for the scarlet chills about to come upon you and read his apology. I’ve decoded some of the mort for you.
I came of age in the ‘60s and ‘70s, when all the rules about behavior and workplaces were different. That was the culture then. – Just ask Bill Cosby if you don’t believe me.
I have since learned it’s not an excuse, in the office — or out of it. To anyone. – By since learned, I mean immediately after I wrote the first line. I literally just used it as an excuse.
I realized some time ago that I needed to be a better person, and my interactions with the people I work with have changed. – By some time ago, I mean just now. Since just now, I haven’t jerked off in any plants but instead have started watering them. With my urine.
I appreciate the way I’ve behaved with colleagues in the past has caused a lot of pain, and I sincerely apologize for it. –By apologize, I mean, I wrote a load of cheques to people to keep them quiet. Well, I didn’t. My accountant did. I wrote him one too.
Though I’m trying to do better, I know I have a long way to go. That is my commitment. My journey now will be to learn about myself and conquer my demons. Over the last year, I’ve asked Lisa Bloom to tutor me, and she’s put together a team of people. I’ve brought on therapists, and I plan to take a leave of absence from my company and to deal with this issue head on. I so respect all women, and regret what happened. – By mentioning Lisa Bloom, a women’s rights lawyer, I’m hoping this puts me in a good light, but now I realise it just puts her in a bad one. I’ve also put together a team of people to protect and enable me because I am the victim. I respect all women, except the ones who said I raped, harassed or insulted them. They’re all cunts.
I hope that my actions will speak louder than words and that one day we will all be able to earn their trust and sit down together with Lisa to learn more. Jay Z wrote in 4:44:“I’m not the man I thought I was, and I better be that man for my children.” The same is true for me. I want a second chance in the community, but I know I’ve got work to do to earn it. I have goals that are now priorities. Trust me, this isn’t an overnight process. I’ve been trying to do this for 10 years, and this is a wake-up call. I cannot be more remorseful about the people I hurt, and I plan to do right by all of them. – I hope my actions since, which include suing the publication who wrote about my history of abuse will speak louder than any of this bullshit I just wrote. To prove my commitment to scarlet, I have misquoted Jay Z, who Beyoncé forgave, in the hopes that you too can make Lemonade. #iaintsorry
I am going to need a place to channel that anger, so I’ve decided that I’m going to give the NRA my full attention. I hope Wayne LaPierre will enjoy his retirement party. I’m going to do it at the same place I had my Bar Mitzvah. I’m making a movie about our President, perhaps we can make it a joint retirement party. One year ago, I began organizing a $5 million foundation to give scholarships to women directors at USC. While this might seem coincidental, it has been in the works for a year. It will be named after my mom, and I won’t disappoint her. – I hope that I have proved to you all what a good liberal I am by making fun of the NRA. I would like to remind you all that our President is also a creep and gets away it, therefore I should too. I also have a mom. She’s a woman.
We look forward to Harvey’s presidential campaign in 2020.
This a photo of the President of The United States of America throwing paper towels at people in Puerto Rico. Victims of one of the worst hurricanes in American history.
I will never look at a paper towel the same way again. It is also now my enemy.
Rumour has it Trump is sending a load of mops to victims of this weekend’s Hurricane Nate on the Gulf Coast. Huge, massive, enormous mops. Best ever.
Hugh Hefner passes on
The OG creep himself, Hugh Hefner, clocked it last week. Hugh, the man famous for building his brand off the back of printing nude photos of Marilyn Monroe, without her consent, bought a grave beside Marilyn because, “spending eternity next to Marilyn was too sweet to pass up.” They never actually met in real life. Shudder.
Keeping in line with 2017’s ‘Year of the Creep’ theme, Hollywood will be making a movie about Hugh Hefner’s life, with Brett Ratner directing and registered fashion offender, Jared Leto, lined up to play Hef.
Brett Ratner… is making a Hugh Hefner biopic… starring Jared Leto…
Who let this happen? This is literally the trifecta of do not want
— Calvin (@calvinstowell) October 3, 2017
But, not all is lost. Some things are exactly how they should be.
Here is a picture of Mariah Carey on Good Morning Britain, draped on a chaise lounge, with a fully decked out CHRISTMAS tree behind her, discussing the horrific shooting in Las Vegas.
None of this makes sense and yet all of it makes sense.