The Week on Twitter: Hearts, Christmas, and Enda Kenny
This week, Twitter said a final farewell to the Web Summit, wept at an old man on the moon, and complained about Bank of Ireland a bit. We also told Enda Kenny all about our periods, and struggled to cope with the website’s new ‘like’ feature.
Twitter turns stars into hearts and everybody freaks out
During the week, Twitter scrapped their tweet favouriting system in favour of hearts and likes. Long gone are the days of favouriting somebody’s tweet as a simple gesture of acceptance, a modest grant of approval, or a means of bookmarking that shit for later. Now, we must ‘like’ it. Now, we must click a tiny little exploding heart to aggressively express our vague support of something. Now, we must lie to ourselves.
Lots of people got very angry about lots of different things – the majority of criticisms hailing from the fact that the hearts were too red, Favstar was definitely going to run out of business, and Twitter was becoming way too much like Facebook (and nobody likes Facebook).
Twitter adds hearts
Twitter moves in with you
Twitter asks when you'll be home
Twitter wants to get a dog
Twitter adds joint bank account— Rohan (@mojorojo) November 4, 2015
.@twitter my entire family died of exploding hearts why would you hurt me like this?
— Alan (@alan_maguire) November 3, 2015
https://twitter.com/hrtbps/status/661589877386035200
Twitter: "We need to make this less trash"
Everyone: "Take harassment seriously. Take harassment seriously."
Twitter: "Let's add hearts"
— Solemnly Swearing (@SirGoldenrod) November 3, 2015
I think hearts are too frivolous and flirty for the serious weighty issues discussed on twitter. Bring back the stars or I'll tell my Ma.
— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) November 3, 2015
However, from chaos sprang mirth and merriment, as hundreds of men hellbent on preserving their masculinity expressed their absolute disgust towards the new feature. For them, tapping a heart was simply “too gay” or “very womanly.” They feared that Twitter had compromised their ability to remain ‘one of the lads,’ and vowed never to favourite (or like) another man’s tweet again. Their bromances were under attack, and they weren’t happy.
It was fun to watch.
Twitter is making me feel so gay with these hearts. I'm just trying to tell my homies they are funny not ask them to be my valentine.
— Matthew Jerson (@mjerson0311) November 3, 2015
So, now we "like" tweets instead of "favorite" them with hearts instead of stars??? We trying to girly this thing up, @twitter?
— Jeremy (@JVDunc) November 5, 2015
I'm straight twitter so you can take your hearts and shove it up your ass
— Joe Parsee (@o1db1ack1) November 4, 2015
https://twitter.com/Seamus_the_Bold/status/661773504115707904
Dublin says goodbye to the #WebSummit for the last time. Probably.
It’s been a very long week of webs and summits and web summit-y things. There were tears as the conference wrapped up for the (potential) final time yesterday in the RDS, there were tantrums as Paddy Cosgrave pulled out of his appearance on the Late Late, and there were actual brawls (probably) when Enda Kenny was offered a last minute invitation to the event.
Twitter had lots to say about the Web Summit – most of which concerned itself with the poor WiFi, again – but all-in-all people seemed to have a grand old time.
https://twitter.com/Jim_Sheridan/status/661544242490302464
Sad to think that this time next year it will be Lisbon muting it's Twitter timeline. #websummit
— Damien O'Connor (@ratskins) November 3, 2015
WWN #WebSummit: organisers confirm that last year's wifi problems cannot be blamed on the people organising & carrying out the summit itself
— WWN (@WhispersNewsLTD) November 3, 2015
#websummit is gone. Getting a double root canal. Worst. Day. Ever. #startups pic.twitter.com/0pn0s5szKy
— Gene (@genemurphy) November 6, 2015
Paddy Cosgrave has pulled out of the #LateLate. I hope they bring on Neven Maguire instead to show us how to make a 20 quid burger.
— Philip Nolan (@philipnolan1) November 5, 2015
I was actually going to sell a couple of my apps at that #WebSummit thing but after the way they treated Enda, they can forget about it.
— Garvan Grant (@garvangrant) November 2, 2015
(I actually can’t tell if that last one was a joke or not, but I’m going to go ahead and presume that it was.)
Goodbye Web Summit – see you soon! Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not…
Irish women tweet their periods to @EndaKennyTD
Yes, you did read that right. And yes, there is a reason for it – and it’s a good one too. Since the Irish government seem to think they have warranted control over all Irish women’s reproductive parts, comedian Gráinne Maguire thought it would be a good idea to let the Taoiseach know exactly how her womb was doing during her time of the month. And hundreds of others followed suit. It was great.
The tweets fell under the #Repealthe8th hashtag, and emphasised the lack of body autonomy Irish women have access to beneath the country’s abortion laws, and the current government’s apparent unwillingness to repeal the Eighth Amendment.
Maguire tweeted that it was “only fair the women of Ireland let our Leader @EndaKennyTD know the full details of our menstrual cycle” – and tell Enda the full details they did. While many simply jumped at the chance to have a bit of a laugh, and make the Taoiseach uncomfortable, others used the tag to express their relief upon discovering that they were not pregnant in a country that is failing to protect its pregnant women.
Women of Ireland! Your vagina is their business! Tweet @EndaKennyTD your menstrual cycle #repealthe8th https://t.co/ywSKHVUSSv
— Gráinne Maguire (@GrainneMaguire) November 4, 2015
Personally, don't have much bloody news at the mo but tweeting @EndaKennyTD our bodily goings on makes an excellent point. #repealthe8th
— Roisin Ingle (@roisiningle) November 4, 2015
https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/662000395133329408
There'll be shrieks of "undignified!" at tweeting @EndaKennyTD about periods. Know what's undignified? Lack of bodily autonomy #repealthe8th
— Tara Flynn (@TaraFlynn) November 4, 2015
So @EndaKennyTD, my period's just over. But I could tweet you some old smear test results, if you'd like? #repealthe8th
— Tara Flynn (@TaraFlynn) November 4, 2015
Hi @endakennyTD another day, another decision! What do you think? Thanks bae 😍#repealthe8th pic.twitter.com/jvXBFAbsK6
— Gráinne Maguire (@GrainneMaguire) November 5, 2015
The campaign made international news, with articles popping up from the BBC, the Guardian, and even Buzzfeed (!)
Kenny has yet to respond to any of the tweets.
Bank of Ireland’s new cash restrictions are “surprising and unnecessary”
So said Finance Minister Michael Noonan this week when #BOI announced their plans to impose restrictions on over-the-counter cash transactions. Later this month, all cash deposits of under €3000, or less than fifteen cheques, will have to be lodged using Bank of Ireland’s ATMs or lodgement machines. As well as this, any withdrawals of under €700 will not be processed by BOI staff.
The restrictions have been criticised for ignoring the needs of those who do not regularly use ATMs or online banking services – such as the elderly, or people who live in rural areas with limited WiFi.
This will affect a portion of the elderly & those not savvy with withdrawing & lodging money via ATM @bankofireland https://t.co/89KeBa26H6
— Liam McLoughlin (@ljpmcloughlin) November 4, 2015
Why the surprise about Bank of Ireland's obnoxious behaviour on forcing people into online banking? Banks never cared a hoot about elderly.
— Shane Ross (@Shane_RossTD) November 4, 2015
“It’s Best We Don’t See Each Other Anymore,” Bank Of Ireland Tell Customers https://t.co/q8JzgTBhtD #news #ireland pic.twitter.com/qiRe7BuNql
— WWN (@WhispersNewsLTD) November 4, 2015
This policy by @talktoBOI Bank of Ireland will affect many elderly including my mother who is very nervous using ATMs @ALONE_IRELAND
— Maria Hennessy (@MP_Hennessy) November 4, 2015
This is the second time in seven days that Bank of Ireland have caused a lot of people a lot of hassle. Last Friday, a processing delay meant that thousands around the country were left without their wages.
Halloween ends, #Christmas begins.
IT’S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAS. Sort of. Sunday morning saw the binning of all those semi-rotten pumpkins and dodgy Dealz costumes, to make way for fairy lights, nice trees, penguin-themed sweaters, and Baileys. Christmas seems to come around a little bit earlier every year, and every year people seem to get a little bit angrier about it. Those people took to Twitter to express their concern… And to make everyone else’s day a little bit bleaker.
throwing away pumpkins and hanging up Christmas lights 🤗
— Polina Beregova (@pbbunny97) November 1, 2015
YOUR TWEET ABOUT HATING EARLY CHRISTMAS TWEETS IS ACTUALLY JUST ANOTHER CHRISTMAS TWEET.
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) November 5, 2015
Baristas in Starbucks wearing Christmas jumpers and antlers. Bit early. Big bit.
— Matt Cooper (@cooper_m) November 6, 2015
The Christmas lights on Grafton Street, November 5th, 2015 #Dublin pic.twitter.com/QFSuz5AIvJ
— Darragh Doyle (@darraghdoyle) November 5, 2015
Still, everyone knows it’s not Christmas without a John Lewis ad – and this year’s one came out this morning which was handy for this piece, and also for the thousands of people who just wanted to have a quiet sob down the back of the office on a Friday morning.
[iframe id=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/wuz2ILq4UeA” align=”center” autoplay=”no” maxwidth=”750″]
This year, the ad is about a #ManOnTheMoon who is very sad, but then he receives a present from a little girl and is subsequently happy again. John Lewis teamed up with Age Action UK to make the advert, which promotes the idea that nobody should be alone on Christmas – especially not the elderly – but also that we should all keep buying each other things because Capitalism.
It’s very nice and it made me cry. Here are some tweets about it.
I hope the wonderful work @age_uk do for lonely elderly people in the UK gains some extra support thanks to #manonthemoon. We can all help!
— Lauren Archer (@miss_archer) November 6, 2015
So pretty much all of the UK is in tears over an old man who's now able to look through a little girl's bedroom window. #manonthemoon
— Ryan Nelson (@RyanJohnNelson) November 6, 2015
“I’d like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” #manonthemoon pic.twitter.com/TG29LCgE1O
— Rachel Rayner (@RachelRayner) November 6, 2015
Featured image via John Lewis via YouTube