This week, Twitter saw the outing of 32 million adulterers, watched in grief-stricken awe as Zayn Malik and Calvin Harris had a little feud, and witnessed the bizarre spectacle that was The Rose of Tralee.
Millions of cheaters outed in #AshleyMadison hacking scandal
A few months ago, hacker group ‘Impact Team’ threatened to release the details of all the men, women, and everyone in between who frequently used dating website, AshleyMadison.com. But Ashley Madison is not your regular, run-of-the-mill dating service – it’s a site that allows its exclusively non-single members to have (semi-) secret relationships with other exclusively non-single members, because according to the company’s tagline: “Life is short. Have an affair.”
Except, as it turns out, those relationships weren’t that secret at all. Impact Team managed to hack the site’s database anyway, and released the details to the world just the other day. Understandably, whoever owns Ashley Madison wasn’t too happy about the breach, and condemned Impact Team for imposing “a personal notion of virtue on all of society.”
But for every person who’s started questioning the morals of the website’s users, there are several more wondering how the (supposedly legit) details of 32 million users were recovered in the first place. One website – that has since been shut down by Ashley Madison – stated that the site “…should be embarrassed for (its) trainwreck of a database.” It would seem that despite their focus on secret, illicit affairs, Ashley Madison hadn’t quite grasped the concept of online privacy themselves.
Suggestion for Ashley Madison members: you'll have more chance explaining this to your wife than you will erasing your data from the web.
— Troy Hunt (@troyhunt) August 20, 2015
Ashley Madison should probably fire that 'Shh' lady.
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) August 20, 2015
Those hackers were lucky Dennis O'Brien didn't have an Ashley Madison account.
— Des Bishop 毕瀚生 (@Desbishop) August 20, 2015
Twitter goes mad for the #RoseOfTralee
I have to be honest… I didn’t watch The Rose of Tralee. I wasn’t busy, I wasn’t preoccupied, I literally wasn’t doing anything. I just didn’t watch it. But what I did do, was sit on Twitter and retweet a lot of tweets about it – pretending that I, too, was watching, so everyone would think I was cool and current but in an ironic way. I like to think that that worked.
Apparently the Meath rose won. Congratulations Meath rose. Apparently a lot of other stuff happened too, including someone reciting all 32 counties in 8 seconds, Dáithí Ó Sé having a beard (?), and many poems being said.
Here’s a load of tweets to make up for the fact that I haven’t got a clue what happened.
A lone chant of "one more poem" breaking out down the back of the dome#RoseOfTralee
— WWN (@WhispersNewsLTD) August 18, 2015
— Today FM (@todayfm) August 18, 2015
The excitement in the room is palpable as some guy reads out a long list of sponsors. This is what everyone came for. #roseoftralee
— Not The RTÉ Guide (@YourRTEGuide) August 18, 2015
Fantastic. Tweets being read off a piece of paper in front of a large desktop monitor. Never change, #roseoftralee
— Susan Daly (@BiddyEarly) August 17, 2015
*Darwin Rose unveils massive DERRY NOT LONDONDERRY" banner at the back of the dome* #roseoftralee
— Not The RTÉ Guide (@YourRTEGuide) August 17, 2015
Awkward scenes as RTÉ employ a ten second delay in tramission as one #RoseofTralee contestant tried to bring up issue of abortion
— WWN (@WhispersNewsLTD) August 17, 2015
Everyone celebrates #WorldHumanitarianDay #ShareHumanity
This year, Wednesday August 19th marked the twelfth anniversary of the Canal Hotel bombing in Iraq. 22 people were killed in the initial attack, including Iraq’s United Nations’ Special Representative Sérgio Vieira de Mello. Now, each year, the world celebrates Humanitarian Day – to recognise the work that humanitarian personnel do, and to remember those who lost their lives fighting for the cause.
Twitter also used Wednesday as a chance to #ShareHumanity, by spreading awareness about immigration issues, the Syrian conflict, and the importance of vaccinations.
— Raouf Mazou (@RaoufMazou) August 19, 2015
Today, when nearly 60m people are displaced by conflict, the work of humanitarians has never been more vital. #WorldHumanitarianDay
— Samantha Power (@AmbPower44) August 19, 2015
— UN Development (@UNDP) August 19, 2015
— CFR (@CFR_org) August 19, 2015
Are you #TeamZayn or #TeamCalvin? #CelebFeud #WhoCares?
Early in the week, ex-One Direction member Zayn Malik retweeted something that compared Taylor Swift’s removal of her music from Spotify, to Miley Cyrus’s claim that she didn’t care if nobody bought her albums ever again, as she had already made her money. Soon after, Calvin Harris – who has been going out with Taylor for an amount of time – went on a mad one, and told Zayn to “stay out my fuckin mentions pls.”
Honestly, the whole thing had a bit of primary school air about it… Like when someone gets into a scrap with someone else, and they have to go stand in the corner, and everyone else in the room is like “Woah, that was badass.” But really, it wasn’t badass. And everyone involved looks stupid. And you’re pissed off because it’s yard time, but nobody gets to go outside anymore. Zayn and Calvin have ruined it for everyone.
Oh and I write my own shit too dickhead
— zayn (@zaynmalik) August 17, 2015
Although Calvin was quick to apologise when Zayn insisted he “calm (his) knickers before them dentures fall out,” their ‘fight’ is all anyone’s been talking about. And it’s been riveting.
Many of their tweets have since been deleted, but here are some others that sum up the situation quite nicely.
calvin: *tries to drag zayn*
zayn: what did you say
calvin: nothing lol u have a beautiful voice ur so talented man collab?
— ONE DIRECTION (@ALL1D) August 17, 2015
— Mirror Celeb (@MirrorCeleb) August 18, 2015
watching the zayn vs calvin fight like pic.twitter.com/FugLDNKZ2u
— amelia (@Dandelionnarry) August 17, 2015
So devastated by this Zayn/Calvin thing I haven't left the house.
— Matt Lucas (@RealMattLucas) August 17, 2015
Me too, Matt Lucas. Me too.
Featured image via irishtimes.ie