This week, Milo Yiannopoulos resigned from Breitbart, Minister for Health Simon Harris was a vampire, Robbie Williams was at the Brits, and we discovered some new planets. A goalkeeper was also forced to resign when he ate a pie at a football game, after a bookies offered odds that he would do so at the pitch.
#MiloYiannopoulos resigns from Breitbart News after paedophile comments
This week, Richard Spencer didn’t get punched in the head which was sad. But the second best thing that could have happened did happen, which was Milo Yiannopoulos resigning from Breitbart News and also his book deal being dropped. This came after an audio clip of Yiannopoulos seemingly condoning paedophilia emerged online.
In the tape, Yiannopoulos says: “Paedophilia is not a sexual attraction to somebody 13 years old who is sexually mature. Paedophilia is attraction to children who have not reached puberty.” As well as stating that 13 year olds are not children, Yiannopoulos also dismisses the molestation of children by priests in the Catholic Church, and claims that consent is “arbitrary and oppressive.”
Of his resignation from Breitbart, Yiannoloulos said that it would be “wrong to allow my poor choice of words to detract from my colleagues’ important reporting.” He also said that the decision to leave Breitbart was his, and his alone.
— Nick Harvey (@mrnickharvey) February 20, 2017
Milo Yiannoupolis is like if half an idea that Sasha Baron Cohen threw in the trash came to life
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 20, 2017
Weird how all these Nazis are turning out to be bad people.
— the bodyslam politic (@joe___nelson) February 20, 2017
— hoskas (@hoskas) February 21, 2017
#RobbieWilliams shows up at #Brits2017
This week The Brits were on. They were on Wednesday and lots of things happened like some people winning awards, a tribute for George Michael, and one of Katy Perry’s dancers dressed as a gaf falling off the stage.
Robbie Williams was also at The Brits this year. This either enthralled people, or made no difference to their lives whatsoever. There was no in between.
Robbie was presented with the Brits Icon Award. He also sang a little song at the end of the ceremony. He had many technical difficulties on stage including a wardrobe malfunction from one of his dancers and a couple of seconds of his track being muted.
Following this, people took to Twitter to talk about Robbie Williams. Not necessarily his performance, but just him in general, because why not.
— The Skeff Bar (@TheSkeffBar) February 23, 2017
Robbie Williams has taken over from Paul Mcartney as the bloke they wheel out at the end of ceremonies #BRITs2017
— Lisa Dominic (@LisaDominic) February 22, 2017
Robbie Williams is Frank Sinatra for people who enjoy oven chips
— Chris (@Flatus74) February 22, 2017
imagine thinking rock dj by robbie williams isnt the greatest track ever written. tragic
— alice (@alicebrwne) February 22, 2017
#SimonHarris vampire meme dominates Twitter
Simon Harris is the Minister for Health. He is also a vampire. This fact has been proven unequivocally on Twitter dot com via a series of pictures of Harris looking pale, not being near mirrors, and not consuming any garlic, ever. This is incredibly suspicious behaviour, and as the Minister for Health, is it only right that Harris be held accountable for his vampirism.
What follows is a thread of tweets undoubtedly proving Harris’ desire to suck all of the blood from your neck and also explode in the sun. The question as to whether Harris will be able to carry out his Health Minister duties now that this news has become common knowledge remains to be seen.
Simon Harris TD = 800 year old vampire pic.twitter.com/svtNNeyaXA
— Subprime (@sbprme) November 13, 2016
Tfw you're at work but you're remembering a particularly prominent jugular vein you saw that morning pic.twitter.com/z6cJ5xsy3Z
— Garrulous (@JurassicArse) February 20, 2017
Some interesting details about our Minister for Health in here. Who else has sonic hearing: BATS pic.twitter.com/yBXvo0Uckc
— Mind your meat limbs (@Bubblenoma) February 22, 2017
'Age to me is immaterial'-Simon Harris, Nosferatu pic.twitter.com/l1mrNMvHyy
— Garrulous (@JurassicArse) February 22, 2017
Notice how he positions himself away from the mirror, very clever pic.twitter.com/FMJa8jBY1Z
— Mind your meat limbs (@Bubblenoma) February 20, 2017
Man eats pie, loses job
This week, Sutton goalkeeper Wayne Shaw ate a pie during a football match. Sutton goalkeeper Wayne Shaw was then forced to resign because he ate a pie during a football match. Sutton goalkeeper Wayne Shaw ate a pie during a football match because a bookies had placed odds on that he would eat a pie during a football match, so he did. It was grand.
Shaw was forced to resign due to issues brought to the fore by the FA and the UK Gambling Commission. However, Shaw has since stated that he did not eat the pie because of the bet, but to annoy Arsenal fans for some reason that I am not even going to pretend I understand.
Speaking to The Sun of the pie in question, Shaw said: “It was a meat Cornish pasty — quite nice too. It didn’t cost me anything from the girl at the counter — apart from my job.”
Luis Suarez: Eats 3 people, keeps his job.
Wayne Shaw: Eats 1 pie, loses his job. pic.twitter.com/G1i25CinrP
— TheFootballCommunity (@Footy_Community) February 23, 2017
I can't wait for Wayne Shaw to do loads of pie adverts become mega rich then buy Sutton Utd. That would be the magic of the FA Cup #piegate
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) February 21, 2017
If Wayne Shaw didn't eat a pie, wouldn't that also have been bet fixing? Surely the issue is The S*n and their stupid betting offers
— Andy Castell (@AJ3) February 21, 2017
Can't help but think Wayne Shaw might have overlooked The Sun's role in his demise. pic.twitter.com/MZO5GZ2Vjk
— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) February 23, 2017
#NASA discover some new planets
On Thursday, it was reported that NASA had discovered some new planets – seven, to be exact. The exoplanets found orbiting the star Trappist-1 might be warm enough to sustain life. Or they could be nothing more than chunks of rock floating in space. Either way. It’s exciting
The planets are only about 40 light-years away which isn’t that far at all really, or so I’ve read on NASA’s website in the past five minutes.
Although many are sceptical about the possibility of finding life on any of these planets, scientists in the Netherlands have pointed out that Trappist-1 is considerably younger than the sun in our solar system, so there is potential for life to evolve there over time.
Around a nearby, cold, small star we found 7 rocky Earth-size planets, all of which could have liquid water – key to life as we know it. pic.twitter.com/C2JWjDfBdK
— NASA (@NASA) February 22, 2017
NASA discovery moodboard pic.twitter.com/XRSlRNDm5q
— sami (@ezekielfiguero) February 23, 2017
Me leaving earth once NASA confirms which of the 7 planets is habitable pic.twitter.com/f4isHLyWO8
— Female Struggles (@comedyandtruth) February 23, 2017
Today: We've found new planets!
Tomorrow: We've found aliens!
Day 3: We regret to inform you that all the aliens have joined Fianna Fáil
— Carl Kinsella (@TVsCarlKinsella) February 22, 2017