Poem of the Week |11| days pass

days pass

(i)
and you will find you cannot help but put a name
on the things you love
to show everyone
you knew what they were
you don’t even like salt
but you liked the rock solid of him

the pool of moisture on his top lip

(ii)
and you will mark all of the times you died
on the same calendar
that tells you when you are late
how many doctor’s appointments you skip
how many birthdays
people have stopped inviting you to
it will all come in one hellish leap
all these terrible
human things

Advertisement

(iii)
and it gets to a point where
you can call your small things happiness,
or, maybe satisfaction
something quiet anyways
it will do, and it does
your avocados and nice pens and
unbitten nails
these are all the things that anchor you here
your body follows a straight line
you don’t smoke for 10 days

(iv)
and the anchor soon nooses and
you can’t breathe underwater
you don’t know why you thought anyone could
there is no real pain but
there is no solace in drinking because
drinking just gives
you the courage to do what you really want
and it would not be fair to your mother

(v)
so you go to sleep
holding the fat of your belly
hating it, pulsing with the hate of
it , of every dirty raw thing
you don’t tell them how lonely it is
people only admire you
in the middle of the night
when you are alone
biting the inside of your mouth