Mice To See You

I can’t even concentrate with the noise of all the visitors in our home. No invitation was sent out to these trespassers and never will be. These hooligans are oblivious to their rudeness.

Hence, chewing their way through the walls. Slowly but surely they will get in and they will traumatise me.

Every morning I sit at my desk/kitchen table working from 8:30am – 5pm. I’m spending all day with these guys. I hear them clearly eating, squealing and scratching their unwelcome way through the walls, floorboards and ceilings. These crumbling, edible walls are my only protection. What can I do?

I know …. I’ll write a strongly worded article on the little pests. That’ll surely influence them to reconsider their actions!

Every few minutes I shout “Heyiiii, I can hear you guys. STOP IT” and bang on the walls. They barely stop for a second to swallow their cement filled, furry little faces. It’s nearly as if they have no respect for anyone. But I’m sure that’s not true.

Any time I walk into a new room I give warning by yelling “Here I am, coming into the sitting room, with a big knife and an attitude problem”. What has become of me – threatening something I can’t see?

I’m aware of the phrase ‘A hole’s a hole’, and they say where ever you can fit the tip of a pencil – a mouse can also fit. I know I look insane, but I was fluttering around the kitchen like a teenage boy, poking my pencil in every hole I could see. About fifty mice could enter my room right now if they have a 12B size skull.

It feels like the start of the apocalypse of relentless invisible monsters.

Here is one of the perpetrators holding his tail like it’s an accessory. Brazen is not the word!!

mouse holding his own tail
via kimballstock.com

I haven’t seen one YET but I know I will freak out when I witness their individual invasion and lack of concern for me. I’ve tried scaring them by blasting out the tune ‘Monster’ by The Automatic, but to be honest, I still don’t think they care.

Any animal that jumps out at people and poops on their kitchen countertops, is quite frankly annoying.

Yes, they are kind of cute and I don’t want to harm any animal, but I also don’t want an animal that could bite or poison me walking freely around the house. I understand that it’s very cold outside and they just want to survive. Who am I to destroy the lives of innocent creatures?

The only issue I have is that I wouldn’t force my way into someone else’s home, eat their food and poo all over their belongings!! Like who does that, seriously?

For any mice reading this, please cop yourselves on!!

If it’s rats …… RATS??? Lord God that’s a whole other article.

main image via phillymag.com