Yeah, it’s 2016 but here’s THE 10 WORST SONGS OF 2015

Better late than never, eh? You may recall our 10 Worst Songs of Halfway Through 2015, which saw The Prodigy emerge with the impressive feat of taking all 10 slots with the horrific, irredeemable, tone-deaf, hypocritical and just plain painful ‘Ibiza’. It really is that bad.

So, as you might surmise from the above image, Keith Flint and the lads do indeed feature in the final rundown of 2015’s most wretched, but we’ve decided to play fair this time and just grant ‘Ibiza’ one space in the countdown, a countdown that, incidentally, starts now.

10 | Adele

‘Hello’

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Adele is undoubtedly capable of creating brilliant music – the likes of ‘Rolling in the Deep’, ‘Rumour Has It’, etc… are some of the best pop songs of the last few years. ‘Hello’, however, is not in that category. One of the reasons why Adele has proved to be so endearing is because she comes across as so sincere. Disingenuousness oozes out of every word here as she capitalises on her superstardom with more-of-the-same. It’s a tremendously bland song, devoid of anything that made the hits of 21 so good, the only exception being a decidedly marketable sound. | Joshua Hughes

9 | Sam Smith

‘Writing’s On The Wall’

Credit to Sam Smith; his stab at a Bond theme is at least on message with the tone and overall quality of the film itself. Much like Spectre, ‘Writing’s On The Wall’ is boring, clumsy and you’ll wish it was over long before it weakly coughs up its death rattle. Bond themes are meant to be bombastic, stirring, goosebump-provoking efforts, even when adopting a stripped-down nature. This fails on every conceivable level, registering as arguably the single worst Bond effort of all time and barely making an impact as a standalone song. Oh, and people can bang on about the not-really-that-great Radiohead effort all they want, Hamilton Leithauser’s excellent ‘5am’ would have been perfect. | Dave Hanratty

8 | Muse

‘Psycho’

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‘Psycho’ somewhat bafflingly received quite a bit of critical acclaim from the likes of NME and is actually one of Muse’s most popular songs on Spotify and other streaming services. It’s utterly impossible to see why. Bland, clichéd and in places downright embarrassing (“I’ll turn you into a super drone” and the ghastly exchanges between the drill sergeant and soldier to name but two) it is almost unlistenable. It’s the sort of song the you would just assume out of hand is a parody only to be stunned to find that it is, in fact, not one. | Joshua Hughes

7 | Coldplay

‘Adventure Of A Lifetime’

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As noted elsewhere by my good self“Turn your magic on!” really is as Chris Fucking Martin as Chris Fucking Martin gets. Coldplay are an easy target even if they have more than a handful of genuinely great songs to their name but A Head Full of Dreams features nothing that should even trouble a studio-mandated Greatest Hits. It is the absolute worst of a band not shy when it comes to self-indulgent bollocks and ‘Adventure Of A Lifetime’, as lead single with a video in which the band reach their cringe apex as breakdancing monkeys, acts as both a depressing microcosm of just how bad Coldplay can be and a screaming klaxon that they are well and truly out of ideas. | Dave Hanratty

6 | The 1975

‘Love Me’

Worryingly, there are members of the music press out there who insist that The 1975 are really rather shrewd pop dynamos, actually, and that 2016 belongs to them. Ye gods. The obvious comment on ‘Love Me’ is that it sounds like Peter Gabriel, and it does, but let’s tweak that slightly; it sounds like Peter Gabriel if he was absolutely shit at music and had no idea what he was doing. | Dave Hanratty

5 | Keywest

‘All My Mistakes’

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‘All My Mistakes’ is an absolutely shocking song with a video to match, featuring all of the usual bullshit that you’d expect from a middle-of-the-road band. What a surprise; it’s about feelings of bittersweet love for a dream girl that doesn’t really exist (“She likes her whiskey, sharing a glass with ice/She’ll break your heart up real nice”) and sounds like it should be played over a montage in Home and Away or something. It’s hard to imagine that anyone willingly listens to music like this. | Joshua Hughes

4 | The Libertines

‘Gunga Din’

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Rudyard Kipling is presumably still spinning in his grave at the fact that The Libertines sullied his work by using it as “inspiration” for this mess. This is a song that is ostensibly about the fact that the band have begun to grow up and move on from their past behaviour, but it is thinly-veiled behind lyrics and a video that glorifies loutish, alcohol and drug-fuelled behaviour. Carl Barat’s verse is particularly obnoxious and his tone suggests a delight in being a “bastard in the morning” who can’t help picking fights. Ultimately, ‘Gunga Din’ is a particularly poor effort from a band that has always been wildly overrated. | Joshua Hughes

3 | Bloc Party

‘The Love Within’

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DAT SYNTH THO. I don’t think I’ve heard a musical instrument attempt to beat itself to death out of sheer embarrassment before but here we are. When they’re not being hilarious…

Bloc Party

Bloc Party 2016 are busy being terribly, terribly sad and oh-this-is-really-awkward quasi-religious and spiritual and, like, deep, man. ‘The Love Within’ sounds like a cry for help and it’s a shame that nobody can stage an intervention and take this once-decent project away from Kele Okereke. For his sake, someone needs to. | Dave Hanratty

2 | Otherkin

‘Feel It’

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Hey guys, remember The Hives? Remember The Vines? Remember the majority of identikit indie bands NME proclaimed THE NEXT BIG THING back in the early 2000s? Otherkin certainly do. The headache-inducing ‘Feel It’ is a pathetic, transparent and hollow tragedy. Music to be blared over the changing rooms in Jack & Jones. | Dave Hanratty

1 | The Prodigy

‘Ibiza’

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Well, obviously. Did a more abject, ignorant, assault on the senses get made by anyone in any walk of life in 2015? If something was, I’d sure as hell not like to hear/see/read/consume it. Perhaps the greatest irony of this whole thing is the fucking Prodigy getting snooty about people bringing their “mixes” to Ibiza on USB sticks, as if this is somehow the pinnacle of the downfall of their art-form. The production is awful, the delivery is obnoxious and the content would be funny if it wasn’t so sad. Stay well away. | Joshua Hughes