A man is on life support this evening at the Mater Hospital in Dublin, where, despite the complete loss of brain stem function, doctors have detected viable sperm in his left testicle and, as the potential for human life is still present, are unwilling to consent to his removal from artificial respiration. The fate of the patient, whose identity cannot be revealed, and is known simply as Mr P, is now the subject of a Supreme Court appeal by the family. Legal representatives for the hospital point to a ‘lack of constitutional clarity,’ following recent legislation changes, leaving medical staff without refuge in ‘potential for human life’ cases.
The legislation, introduced by Taoiseach, Doctor Immaculata Gilmartin, and Minister for Health, Viv Donegan, which includes penalties for the deliberate or accidental ‘spilling of the male seed,’ received overwhelming support within the Dail, where the gender split is 18:1 female. It was voted into law last May.[pullquote]The legislation, which includes penalties for the deliberate or accidental ‘spilling of the male seed,’ received overwhelming support within the Dail, where the gender split is 18:1 female.[/pullquote]
Gilmartin, leader of the ruling Holy Motherhood party, rose to prominence in the 2010s, when the political chasm in the wake of global recession, an event from which Ireland was unable to recover, threatened to pitch the country into economic free-fall. In the election campaign of 2016, Gilmartin’s passionate support of ‘potential human’ rights, made a compelling case for the party’s pro-sperm agenda, drawing a clear co-relation between excessive ejaculation in the Celtic Tiger years and the loss of Ireland’s economic security and political will. The party romped to victory on the slogan: “We will not leave Ireland’s future in the hands of men.”
A respected and powerful public speaker, Gilmartin received a standing ovation at the United Nations in New York earlier this year, when she addressed the Assembly on International Women’s Day. In her speech, she declared male masturbation, ‘the ultimate act of native genocide.’
For generations, Irish women have been vilified for daring to make choices about their own bodies, often in cases where consent to the carrying of a child was denied, and this with only one ‘potential life’ at stake. Yet, covertly, in our homes, our places of work, our public conveniences and in government-taxed vehicles, Irish men have laid waste to millions. We are simply re-dressing a fundamental imbalance in the preservation of potential human life.
The legislation has caused a furore among activists, prompting a spate of illegal demonstrations in major towns and cities, where groups of men, wearing the campaign’s signature red ‘X’ on their groins, gather in public places to conduct a silent protest. The Mr P case is being seen by many as a potential milestone in the burgeoning ‘men’s rights’ movement. Today, the largest of these groups, the ‘Congress of Concerned Kinsmen’, or C.O.C.K, who openly promote self-abuse as an act of political resistance, spoke out from their secret headquarters in Cavan:
This situation is outrageous and intolerable; a flagrant violation of our constitutional and human rights. The men of Ireland are afraid, and rightfully so. All it takes is a bit of foreplay gone wrong and that’s it: our lives are ruined.
Provisions within the legislation for sperm evacuation, in cases of extreme medical necessity, have been criticised by the group as ‘unrealistic,’ due to the requirement for a psychiatric evaluation, signed-off by three separate female medical experts, and a three month waiting period.[pullquote]Provisions within the legislation for sperm evacuation, in cases of extreme medical necessity, have been criticised by the group as ‘unrealistic,’ due to the requirement for a psychiatric evaluation, signed-off by three separate female medical experts, and a three month waiting period.[/pullquote]
C.O.C.K. were embroiled in their own legal battle just five months ago, when party secretary, Enda Cummins, was arrested in a dawn raid at his home. Police revealed his computer and mobile devices had been seized and were found to contain ‘more than one’ sexually provocative image of his wife, Bridget. While Cummins maintained the images were innocent by-products of fruitful and consensual lovemaking, the Defence successfully argued that the prurient nature of the materials indicated they were intended for Mr Cummin’s ‘own use.’ Found guilty, Cummins was fined €2000, with a probation period of five years. His name has been placed on the National Register of Sperm Offenders.
In response to today’s statement from C.O.C.K, a government spokeswoman classified the comments as, ‘Aggressive and anti-potential life – further evidence of men’s excitable natures and the volatility that places vulnerable sperm in very real danger.’ She continued, ‘This kind of erratic outburst is exactly why we need legislation in the first place.’
The hearings resume at the Four Courts in Dublin, tomorrow.