Review of Non-Existent Poetry Collection
These poems are as engaging as the mobile phone
that kept ringing during the last ever
performance of Waiting for Godot
at the Albanian National Theatre,
before the building was demolished
to make way for the largest
multi-storey car park
in the Balkans.
This is a volume slim and radical
as a student rioting in favour of
Most of its similes were born
in University College Cork
and were never expected
leave the campus.
Its metaphors are edgy
as getting out of bed
especially to vote for
the UK Independence Party,
then going home to continue
twiddling yourself off
into an eggcup
over and over again.
The way the words
Michael Flatley across the page
displays the highly developed
sense of absurdity one might expect
of a poet who carries an eggcup
with him everywhere (always the same
so far as anyone knows,
he hasn’t eaten
an egg since at least Thursday
July the ninth,
Nineteen Ninety Five.
These line breaks are agile
as a Masters student
forever threatening to pleasure
his or her professor,
but never actually doing so.